Your Diary Room

girl it final 5 play for yourself nobody else

I do really hope we pull this off with the POV. This is why I want Tree off the block, she will execute the plan without making me sweat from her paranoia. I think I'm just making sure I'm at peace if it's my time and I truly do love all of these ladies. Carrie too even though I want her gone this round now.

Also part of me throwing myself on the sword is also strategy to calm Tatum down before she tells Samara too much.

Sweet dreams hosts

Your honour, I have not updated my notes sksksk. It's good though, I do not want this veto. I feel I can probably survive without it and I don't want Tree vs Tatum on the block.

I'm gutted. I'm so so so gutted. I do not want Tree to go.

I really hope Tree doesn't think that I threw to get her out. That would be the last thing I would want.

Praying to baby Jesus that somehow we convince Samara to put Carrie up. I put the chances at 12% but there's not harm trying.

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee put Carrie. I beg. This is karma for me wanting to keep Carrie so long lmao.

I think the respectful thing to do for Tree would be to at least try a little bit to stay. That's why I told Carrie that it would only be by default that she would be my target. That way she can feel a little safer keeping me, but I'm not going all out to campaign. I also don't really see what I could campaign much about. Next round is all about who wins the comps, there's not much left to say. We all know at this point it's a race to the end. The last bit of strategy left was trying to get Carrie up on that block tonight and we failed in both ways that were possible.

And it's not that I don't want to stay. It's not that I want to give up. There's just something in me that snaps when I see allies of mine that care so much about winning and when I feel like it would give them a boost in ego or just confidence. I know I need to toughen up on that aspect. I need to play to win 100% of the time, but along the way I often lose sight of the goal because I start feeling bad. Doesn't help that I feel like the jury wouldn't even give me a chance to explain so it's like I'm basically a Max the Dog in finals. Why not give 2 people a shot at it? Idk, I just need to fight and not be sensitive about things like that. I know Tree wouldn't hate me in the end. It's hard to have that confidence though when sometimes my actions seem to be taken so drastically, I'm on edge. Someone wise has told me that if people stop being your friend over an online game, they probably were not that close of a friend in the end, I have to agree, because I can't see myself cancelling a whole friendship over a game. Doesn't mean I won't be pissed off, doesn't mean we won't have a talk about it, but just look at me and bestie Courtney now.

Let me stop rambling.